Good Morning MOJO,
F.E.A.R...nothing stops us faster or more completely.
Great plans, dreams, goals...all of which could have been ours...dumped like yesterday's garbage when our F.E.A.R. kicks in and cons us into believing its lies.
"There's no way you can do that!" F.E.A.R. screams in that “I know what's best for you” voice it uses to keep us under control and locked up tight.
"I know somebody who tried that and you can't believe how much they hurt when they failed," our F.E.A.R. swears. "You just stick with what you've got! Go with the flow and do what everyone else is going to do. I know it hurts, but hey, life's no picnic...it's not supposed to be easy! It's full of suffering...no point making it worse. Just hang in there and be like everybody else...it'll be OK."
And as stupid as that strategy obviously is when you stop and think about it, that's exactly how most of us live our lives! We sit back, we do hold back on our power, we do sell ourselves short and sell out for other's approval and to look good and be liked. Meanwhile, we watch our dreams die, needless victims of our own F.E.A.R.
So how do we get past our F.E.A.R. and get what we really want?
Begin by remembering F.E.A.R. stands for "False Expectations Appearing Real"...which means simply that we make pictures in our mind of all the bad things we expect will happen if we go for what we're after and don’t just go with the flow….don’t follow the pack. Next, begin working your way through the following "F.E.A.R.-buster" exercises. Yeah, I know you're too busy, and yeah, I know you don't want to write anything down. Trust me on this...it's worth the effort:
1) You need to decide, once and for all, that it's time to have the F.E.A.R. instead of letting the F.E.A.R. have you. The next time F.E.A.R. hits, don't panic. In fact, don't do anything. Just stop, stand back, and watch the show! Marvel at the massive displays of sound and fury, the amazing level of feelings F.E.A.R. can trigger in a heart beat. And remember, as you watch the show, that it's purpose is to scare you into submission - which is what will happen if you give in to it, even a little. Just hang on - the F.E.A.R. will pass.
2) Start focusing on what can go right rather than on what can go wrong. Hey, it's your brain…take control!!! Spend your time picturing all the good things you're after and how you're going to make them happen.
3) Make a list of the things you'd do if you weren't afraid, and then start doing them (yes, it is that simple).
4) Remember, things are never as bad as you think they are. Truth is, the fear itself is a lot worse than most of the problems you're facing.
5) Keep showing up...doing what you know you need to do...even when it doesn't feel right...because there will always be F.E.A.R. The trick is to keep moving, acting, doing something that takes you toward your goal versus sitting around thinking about all your F.E.A.R.s because then they'll mushroom. Take massive daily action based on your unshakable faith that things will work out, one way or another -- that's your ticket out.
6) Defuse your fear with the following 4-steps:
· First, write down your biggest fears and describe each in detail and tell how it's helped you (yes, it has helped you) and why you've kept it around. I know it sounds weird, but our fears have protected us over the years; that's why we won't let them go. And we've got to understand how they've helped us before we can turn them loose.
· Second, describe the risk you'll be taking if you don't confront the fear now. Just because the fear's helped you in the past doesn't mean it won't destroy you in today's fast-changing world.
· Third, describe the worst that can happen if you took the action you've been fearing. Can you handle that?
· And, finally, describe the best that can happen if you do what you're contemplating. Can you handle that?
7) Change your input. Local TV news has degenerated into a graphic recap of the day's tragedies, and tuning in for a nightly dose of misery right before bedtime's a sure-fire way to get more scared and depressed. Get your news off the Net...it's better, quicker, easier. And find shows to watch and books to read that build you up instead of tearing you down. Why? Because you think about the stuff you put in your head, and what you think about becomes your life. Also make sure you are hanging around people who build you up instead of tearing you down for their own selfish reasons.
8) Don't think about anything real serious after 7 at night unless it's completely unavoidable. Why? By that time of the day you're tired, your defenses are down, and it's easy for F.E.A.R. to take over and cause you to say and do really dumb things.
There's a whole new life out there waiting for you if you'll just take control and make it happen. But to do that, you're going to have to face the biggest F.E.A.R. of all...the one Nelson Mandela described this way:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? "You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the World. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you." We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." (by Marianne Williamson)
Enough F.E.A.R already...it's time to live, really live, before it's too late.
And you know exactly what I mean.
Make it a GREAT week!!!!
"When you feel like giving up, dig deep and see what you
Tom Tognoli
COO, Founder
Regional President
Direct: 408.342.3001
Fax: 408.904.7762
Email: TTognoli@InteroRealEstate.com
Website: www.InteroRealEstate.com
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